A Trip though Godly Relationships

I am writing to you, whom love the Lord Christ. God has broken my heart with the way; we are going about our relationships in the “church”. Christ set the example for us so clearly, yet we often fall into our own selfishness. I write knowing that my track record in this area is not great, shoot its not even good, much less how Christ has called us to live. As most of you know I have had many failed relationships, and even a failed engagement. I cry out to Christ to save me from my sinfulness. I am evil to the core, my flesh cries out for the sexual touch of a woman, but only with Christ’s love and grace have I over come my flesh. I fight my own selfishness at every turn. While writing an outline for a talk that i am having tonight with a friend’s parents, God has given me an outline of what He wants out of His children, of how we should be acting as “Christians’’ in our relationships, and how to show honor to the only “person” we should be showing honor to…Christ!

1. Our relationships must be God centered.

2. The deepness of your relationship will determine how far/well your relationship.

3. A Christ loving woman must be willing to be pursued, but a Christ loving man must be willing to put in the time pursuing a woman in a Godly manner.

4. Men must show integrity, honor, and a genuine out-going concern for the well being of others.

5. Men also must take the spiritual lead in a relationship, because if you don’t start when you are dating it will be harder to start when you get married.

6. The end of any dating relationship should be marriage.

Often time we just date to date. But why are we wasting our time with dating if its not centered on God? Why do I feel like I am not complete if I am not dating someone? Why do I think I can only be who I am if I have someone? I’m sure that I am not the only one that has these thoughts or feelings. The only answers that I can come up with are that we are too lazy to have a fully committed relationship with Christ. Too often when choosing who to date we make these choices with out the wisdom or insight of our parents or the church. We think we are “old” enough, smart enough understand God enough, and we don’t want our parents to “intrude” into our lives, or just think we have it all figured out. But by relying on ourselves, we are just building a wall around our relationship. We are building our relationship on sand. We don’t take the time to seek out wisdom!! I want to go over why we should go to these people and why it is unwise and against what Christ has said to not go and seek wisdom.

The Base of Your Relationship

It’s about BEING the right person, not FINDING the right person. By looking for the “right” person, we think we are the right person. God calls us to first look at ourselves. Dig deep into who you are. Are you who Christ has called you? If you are seeking Christ when it comes to who He wants you to be He will bring that wonderful person into your life. It’s when we start to look outward that we begin to become prideful, and pride always lead to a fall.

What we MUST do is yoke ourselves to an older believer. For Christ call us to disciple one another. Paul lays out the foundation for how we should act as a church body in Titus.

Titus 2:1-8 You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. 2Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. 3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. 6Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching, show integrity, seriousness 8and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

By yoking yourself to someone, you should be deepening your relationship with Christ, and with those around you. You MUST be open and honest with this person, or you are just wasting your time and your words. You should be challenged to grow and learn.

How You Confirm Your Godly Relationship

Parents

Your parents must be involved. Don’t try to make such a big move without them. Go to them and have them share wisdom with you, let it guide you. God has given your parents the authority over you.

Ephesians 6:1-3 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

Even if you have parents that do not have a personal relationship with Christ, you must honor them. Christ said to obey your parents. He did not say to only obey them if they are followers of Christ. God imparts wisdom to all parents. Let's say that you have come to an impasse with your parents then you must seek wise council in the body of Christ.

The Church

The church to some extent should be involved in your relationship. Too often, we think we know what is best for us. Why do you think that God has called us to gather as one body? To help one another, to support one another, and so that we have people that hold each of us to the highest of standards. God has planted these people in a place of “power” for a reason.

Hebrews 13:7 Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.

Hebrews 13:17 Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.

Corinthians 6:1-6 If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints? 2Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? 3Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life! 4Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church!^[] 5I say this to shame you. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? 6But instead, one brother goes to law against another—and this in front of unbelievers!

If you go and seek wise council, you must go with a pure heart. You must go asking God to change your heart, not your parents. Go seeking with an open mind. The reason you should be going is to seek wisdom, not to strengthen your point. You still must submit to and honor your parents! Seek, my friends, wisdom! Cry out to the Father above us and ask him to pour out His blessings on you. WE must humble ourselves before Him for His glory is too much for us to handle. His grace covers all. Let your heart to be broken. Only when you have been broken will your heart be at a place where you can be used, a place where you can hear the small faint whispers of God.

I say these things knowing I am all sin. I don’t have it all down. I want what Christ has for us all. Let me leave you with this passage from James

James 4:6b-10

“God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw

near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.